When Las Ramblas Spoke Geordie Scene 5

Scene 5
{ In bed in New Zealand. }

(Silence. Then radio static and heavy breathing and beep, beep, beep and BBC World service music.)

The Pie : Yes ! Yes ! Yes !
Sue : Are you finished under there ? Come out from under there.
The Pie : I’m speechless.
Sue : How was it then ?
The Pie : We beat Barcelona at home.
Sue : Is that good ?
The Pie : Fantastic. I’ll just tell the lad.
Sue : No you won’t. Wait till morning.
Lad : (shouting from his room) What was the score Dad?
The Pie : I’ll put him back to sleep. ( Sound of bed creaking, footsteps and opening of bedroom door.) We won son, three, two.
Lad : Who scored?
The Pie : (Sound of page turning.) The month of November. TINO! TINO!
Lad : Is Tino better then Supermac Dad?
The Pie : No son but he’s still a good player.

(Phone rings in bedroom.)

Sue : Yes ?
Trotsky : (in a Spanish accent) Hola, puedo hablar con Pedro, por favor ?
Sue : Pardon?
Trotsky : Ah, perdoname, you don’t speak Spanish. Can I speak to Peter please ? I am his, how you say, primo,? Ah cousin from Catalonia ?
Sue : It’s for you Pete, someone who says he’s your cousin from Catalonia.
The Pie : Yes?
Trotsky : Listen carefully Pie. It’s me Trotsky calling from Barcelona. Just say Si or No, okay?
The Pie : Yes, I mean si.
Trotsky : You know the result?
The Pie : Si.
Trotsky : You want to come to the return leg?
The Pie : Si.
Trotsky : Sue won’t let you come?
The Pie : No.
Trotsky : All the lads are coming, you’ve got to. We’ve arrived. Barcelona, the Nou Camp. Tell her that your Uncle who went to Spain for the civil war has died and that you have to go there to claim your inheritance.
The Pie : No!
Trotsky : Si! Si! Si!
The Pie : Okay, si.
Trotsky : Now repeat after me, hasta la vista en el Nou Camp.
The Pie : Hasta la vista en el Nou Camp.
Sue : I didn’t know you spoke Spanish.
The Pie : Just a bit telephone Spanish you know.
Sue : What was that all about then ?
The Pie : It was me cousin from Spain. Me Uncle has died.
Sue : You never told me you had family in Spain.
The Pie : Aye, he went to Spain to fight in the civil war and never came back. They want me to go there to claim me inheritance but its too far to go isn’t it?
Sue : An inheritance? Was he rich?
The Pie : Well offish.
Sue : I suppose you could visit your mother in Newcastle as well.
The Pie : Yeah, two birds with one stone.
Sue : What was he called?
The Pie : Who?
Sue : Your Uncle!
The Pie : erm Faustino. Uncle Faustino.
Sue : That’s not a very common name in Newcastle is it?
The Pie : It is now.



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